One of my me goals I set for myself this year was too stop stressing so much and not take things too seriously. Honestly speaking I’ve been working on this personal me goal since 2010 which is about two years. What I have realized is that there are so many events in our day to day lives that make us stressed out and it is easy to get wrapped up in the intensity of a situation. This is especially true when you working over 60 hours a week, have a family to attend to, including the everyday stuff that may affect any area of your life.
However, if you allow yourself to be consumed by the stress, it obviously can take a huge toll on your well being. That’s why I have provide you with 4 steps that you can follow to help you stay calm and relaxed when a situation reaches a point of stress or intensity:
1. Consciously Relax
You can literally reduce sensations of stress and anxiety if you force the muscles in your body to relax. The easiest way to do it is to start at the top of your head and focus on each area of your body. Make a point of relaxing any muscle that seems to be tense. In many cases, you will be amazed at how much tension you were holding onto (this technique works well if you are nervous before delivering a public speech as well).
2. Proper Breathing Techniques
Similar to the first point, focused breathing is a simple trick you can use to immediately reduce any tension you might be experiencing. Breathing into the stomach for a count of 3 and exhaling for a count of 6 will slow your breathing to a point where you will automatically start to relax.
3. Make Yourself Laugh
This is a personal trick I use but it really works. The fastest way to move yourself out of a negative thought pattern is to totally replace the thought with something different. For example, if I am speaking with a customer who is angry, I might visualize myself interrupting the conversation so that I can break into a fast paced dance routine. Then I visualize the other persons stunned reaction and I immediately feel like laughing.
4. Verbalize your relaxed approach
This is the key step in process. If you can demonstrate to the other person that you are not allowing yourself to get out-of-control or angry, and tell them that you intend to reach a solution without getting upset, they will often match your energy. A conflict can only escalate if both people are willing participants. By refusing to participate in the conflict, you remain in full control of the situation.
Next time you have a situation where there is conflict or an argument, try these techniques and see how much more effectively you can handle the situation.